I think the post below kinda sparked some more questions (which are all pretty much FAQ’s in our life) about adoption as I’ve been getting messages and lots of interest about adoption more than ever! I’ve answered some of them before, but I re-answered them just to keep them up to date with where we are right now, plus people don’t typically read old posts, so…
Q: How did you adopt Cruz?
A: Private Domestic Adoption. We don’t qualify for any other types of adoption.
Q: Where was Cruz born?
A: Near our city. No one was brave enough to ask this time, but a few times in the past people have asked if we “got him from China” which makes me snort, laugh, get almost annoyed all at once because that is the quirkiest question to be asked over and over! (He’s hispanic btw.)
Q: Anything new concerning your current/future adoption?
A: No. I’ve had a hard time finding a balance of what we should share, verses what we shouldn’t share with people (and on the blog). First, a lot of what we come across isn’t for me to divulge, because it would be sharing someone else’s life or information (like Cruz’s moms story, or a future mom of our child/children). We did meet with one expectant couple twice, but nothing came of it in the end. We have been shown a few times to other moms too. Because we are a “big” family, It’s pretty common knowledge that we are less likely to be chosen than an infertile couple or a couple with no children. Being that the majority of people adopting are just that, infertile with no children, well…. in short, it could be a long time before anything happens. (This is just from the domestic adoption aspect since a expectant mom will be looking through profiles to select a family for her baby and most don’t look for families with children.)
Q: How long have you been waiting this time?
A: 17 months
Q: I’ve heard it can be cheaper if you find a baby OR How do you find a baby?
A: Awkward question that has a really long (ahem, soap box) answer. Yes, it is “cheaper” if a expectant parent finds you or if you find an expectant parent yourself. But we are that “relaxed” adoptive couple. We don’t do any self marketing or networking, we just let the agency do what they do and we sit back and be impatient (kidding). We feel like this is the right approach for our family since we truly believe that God will bring us our child/baby/children/sibset of 10 (again kidding, somewhat) when He does. That being said, most people do market, share, network, and I’ve heard of people “finding their birth mom” on facebook, chatrooms, etc… It’s a little extra disturbing in most cases. We’d like to be in the category of “fell into place” miraculously like Cruz’s adoption did. Not that we aren’t willing to work for it, because we are! We just want to make sure we are in the right place with a birthparent(s) and that any mom considering adoption has had all the counseling she needs/wants before she makes her decision. As much as we both want more children, we have to be at peace with where we are at right now and reality is that there is a chance that we will never get chosen. We are willing to be open and available with adoption without knowing what the future holds.
Q: Are you done having your “own” children?
A: We are done having biological children. And you probably missed my thrilling post entitled, “Snip-Snip” which covers a very permanent process that we have used to insure we will not be reproducing. (Or maybe that was supposed to read, “You are probably thrilled you missed my post ‘Snip-Snip’…”)
Q: How do you pay for adoption?
A: I don’t talk about money on this blog as a general rule because I feel like it’s tacky. Unfortunately, money & adoption are like salt & pepper. You can’t avoid one without talking about the other, sorta. Yes, the adoption process is a lot of money. We worked, so hard, and so long that we were exhausted and we still fell short of what we needed ($23,000) during the process 6 years ago. We are so so so thankful that Show Hope stepped in and gave us a grant for the process that meant we could “swing” the rest. (By swing, I mean that it took us almost four years to “afford” adoption, but four very short years in contrast to a every moment we have had with our precious boy!!)
This time has been much tougher in one sense because we have a lot going on all the time with four kids and it’s honestly just harder to work more than we already are, but a few weeks back we got a letter from Show Hope letting us know that they are promising our family a grant for our future adoption! (Literally the best letter I’ve ever received in my life! I wanted to scream, cry, laugh & throw up all at once from the excitement!) We are so blessed to have been given this opportunity through their ministry. It will probably take us about six years to “swing” it this time, but we want to adopt, so we are willing to do what it takes to get there.
As always, feel free to email or comment with any other questions you may have! xxoo